Ahhhhhhh

That is me sighing relief! As much as I love the Christmas holiday, I am excited to put it behind us. The kid's faces on Christmas morning were priceless!! Isabella was so excited to get a new bike, Andrew got a lego table, Ellasyn got a little people dollhouse and Elin got a piano kick gym. We decided to scale way back this year and have tried to instill the true meaning of Christmas with our kids. They each got three presents under the tree and stuff in their stockings. We have explained to the kids that baby Jesus got three gifts from the three wise men and that is what Santa will bring them. We kept the tradition of the Elf alive this year. Our elf's name is Everett and the kids got such a kick out of finding him each morning. Some days he found a new hiding spot and other days he was found creating mischief around the house. I hosted Christmas day once again and it went really well. We had the traditional honey baked ham, I made a jello mold and the semi-homeade rolls and everyone else brought a dish to pass. As I put Christmas behind me I am starting to think about the New Year and what 2014 will bring. I have started to think about my New Year's Goals (I don't believe in resolutions) I like to set goals for myself and feel accomplished. My goals this year are to fill up my kid's buckets. If you have not read these fill my bucket books to your kids, I highly recommend them! I found them on amazon. I just put "fill my bucket kids" in the search box. I am trying to teach them to fill other people's buckets as well. My other goal is to be as healthy as I can. Like I said in a recent post, I recently started back with my personal trainer so that is one way I am trying to achieve the goal. My other goal is to eat healthy and to try new recipes this year and not just pin and forget them on pinterest. Another goal is to NOT sweat the small stuff. By small stuff, so what if the toy room isn't clean all the time. It is in fact a toy room and it isn't suppose to be spic and span all the time. I also want to live by this, this year.

I also want to make a point to take a picture of my kid's each day. It will be fun to look at the pictures next year at this time to see how much they have grown! What are your New Year's Goals?

Confession

So, I have a confession to make.. I am still wearing my MATERNITY jeans. Yes, little Elin is 3 months old and my "transition" jeans fit.. but give me a big ole MUFFIN TOP! Who wants to wear pants that give them the giant muffin top? Certainly I can go buy a bigger size to remedy that situation, but why would I want to go buy a pair of jeans that I don't plan on wearing for very long? This last pregnancy, I spent a small fortune on designer maternity jeans and quite frankly they look better than my "transition" jeans. I can't fit my rear in the skinny jeans I want to wear, so I get the look of skinny jeans, and can feel better about myself :) I just recently started seeing my personal trainer again. I started seeing him when Ellasyn was about 10 months old. I had all but 9 pounds to lose when I started with him and I got back to the best shape of my life. I got to enjoy my body again for a few short months before finding out I was pregnant with Elin. I tried working out with him while pregnant, but I was so damn sick that I had to quit. Well, I have started back and it is not only a place to get back in shape, but it is a HUGE stress release for me. I know that losing weight takes time and to be honest, I am so focused on wanting to enjoy every little thing about Elin as she is our last baby, that I know the weight will come off. Starting in the New Year, I am going to write about my new go to recipes that keep me full longer and are healthy. I have a huge sweet tooth, and I have found ways around that and still feeling satisfied as well. I have 15 more pounds to lose and it is going to take a lot of determination and hard work. What are some ways that helped you lose the baby weight?

Almost Christmas!

I don't know about you, but I am super excited for Christmas this year!! Being a mommy of 4 children certainly adds to the excitement. It is also special as it is Miss Elin's first Christmas. Sure, she won't remember it, but I will :) Many ask how I am always so prepared with being so busy with the kiddos. I always buy the kid's outfits by October. I usually always buy one dress from Hanna Andersson's holiday collection and get Andrew a matching sweater.. HINT: This is when they put the dresses on sale :) SCORE! I always look for something with plaid in it for the girls on Christmas day. This year we went with a red corduroy dress with a plaid sash from Malley and Company. I had bought Ellasyn the dress last year on sale and I found something similar for Isabella and Elin to match her. Andrew is going to look so stinking cute in a plaid shirt and sweater vest over that :) As for shopping, I do a lot of it online! Amazon is my go to place as I am a prime member and it is so easy to buy things with just ONE click! I can't wait to see the kid's faces on Christmas morning. Our elf Everett is leaving them a cookie with his face on it (pictures to come) to bid farewell until next year. I hope all of you have a safe and wonderful Merry Christmas.

Will I ever catch up?

Some days I wonder if I will ever catch up on things in the house.. or will I ever plan another weeks worth of dinners again? You see, I plan dinner the day of. Thank goodness for the crockpot and being able to throw frozen chicken breasts and some ingredients on top of that and you get dinner! Today, I have decided spaghetti sounds good because to be honest, that is all we have. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and we go out to dinner as a family. I have to admit, lately I just like ordering carry out on Fridays. We never know what kind of mood Elin will be in and sometimes I end up holding her and try to eat. Oh, did I mention when we hold her she doesn't really like to sit in your arms? You have to hold her and sway back and forth and when someone wants to take over and hold her for me, I continue to sway. Back to catching up.. there is laundry, dinner, maybe catching up on a few zzz's (let's be honest.. that will not happen until the kids are teenagers) and by then my internal clock with want to get up early and not nap anymore. I am almost caught up on the kid's laundry for the week, which is nice because that is one less thing Doug and I will have to do this weekend. I also have to find time to make cookies for the cookie exchange party we are going to on Saturday. Hopefully, I will be able to fit that in tomorrow before we have to go to Andrew and Ellasyn's Christmas play. So right now, I will pray that Elin decides she wants to take the mother of all naps tomorrow and I can at least get the cookie dough made. Phew.. I am tired just thinking about it. I am incredibly blessed with a terrific husband that loves helping me out when I feel like I am drowning. Well, back to laundry! Keep Smiling :) Melissa

Working through it!

It has been one week since Elin had her lip tie clipped. I tried to keep up with breastfeeding in the morning and at night and one night as we were breastfeeding, she just screamed and I decided to put it to rest. It was not worth her getting so frustrated. I am trying really hard to work through all of the emotions that come with just stopping and not on my terms. I am so angry at the pediatrician for not catching this sooner. This is my last baby and I was hanging on to every little memory and cherishing the little things so much more. My emotions get the best of me some days and I put the bottle in her mouth and just cry. I know that I tried my best and that is all I could do. Many ask, why not just pump? I tried that and got nothing. I am just so thankful for all the words of encouragement from my family and friends. If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be. Doug has been unbelievable and has tried really hard to lift me up when I get all emotional about it. I just keep telling myself, one foot in front of the other. Please pray for my strength. I need all the prayers I can get right now. Keep Smiling :)

And then there were 4!

I have really missed blogging about my littles!! It is so fun to look back at the things I have accomplished with my children. It is also enjoyable to look back and laugh and say to myself, "I really worried about that?" I honestly cannot believe that I am now a mommy of 4 children! I now call my life a living circus! Never a dull moment in the Hoye house! We have had some difficulties with Miss Elin. We went for her 2 month well visit appointment and I was so excited to see how much she had grown. The medical assistant said to undress her to a dry diaper and put her on the scale. Doug and I always have fun guessing what the weight will be and seeing who is closest. Before the 2 month appointment, I had to bring Elin into the doctor two weeks prior (she has acid reflux) we needed a medicine change because zantac wasn't doing the trick. She weighed in at a hefty 10 pounds 4 ounces. So, my guess at this appointment was 10 pounds 11 ounces. Well, we placed her on the scale and I couldn't believe what I was hearing! 10 pounds 2 ounces came out of the medical assistant's mouth. She left the room and I immediately started to panic. I looked at Doug and he said it would be o.k. The doctor came into the room next and we discussed our options. I had already tried boosting my milk supply with lactation cookies, drinking a ton of water, taking fenugreek supplements, drinking mother's milk tea and a new product on the market, milky and pumping. It was apparent that none of that worked, as my little lady didn't gain weight, she lost weight. I didn't want to hear the words that I heard. It was time to start supplementing with formula. I will admit, I broke down into one of those completely ugly cries and stated to the doctor that I felt like a complete failure. She tried to reassure me that I had done my best and babies thrive on formula. After we left the office, I continued with my ugly cry fest and just couldn't understand why I couldn't make enough milk for my baby. This is my last child and I want to soak in every little thing with her. I loved our breastfeeding bonding moments. It is something that just her and I share. We got home and we gave her a bottle and she perked up and started smiling and cooing. Something she had not done in a while. She was finally feeling satisfied. I thought her acid reflux and gas was why she was crying a lot. Come to find out, she was starving. I belong to a terrific mommy group on facebook and I posted my feelings on the page and got terrific support. One mom in particular sent me a picture of her baby's mouth and asked if Elin's looked like it. Baby had a tongue tie and a lip tie. I quickly told the woman, no.. not at all, the pediatrician said she was fine. Well, after emailing her back, I decided to take a closer look at Elin's mouth. She didn't have a tongue tie, but she did have a definite lip tie and it appeared to be a "tight" lip tie. I was so relieved and yet mad at the same time. I had an appointment the next day at the pediatrician's office for a weight check for Elin. Fast forward to the next day and we are in the office and the doctor looks and she says, this definitely could be the cause and your right, she does have a lip tie and I want to send you to an ENT. All this time this all could have been prevented. Now, mind you.. I have been giving Elin formula bottles because my milk supply was next to nothing and even when I pumped I was getting droplets. We went to the ENT yesterday and he confirmed her lip tie and said it was indeed a tight tie and it would be best to clip it. Thankfully, Doug was working in the same building as the ENT's office and he was able to come up and hold her while I sat in the waiting room. She handled it like a champ. I have offered her the breast a little more and she is still frustrated and doesn't want it. So, we are still with the bottle. I am mad and sad because this all could have been prevented had this been found from the beginning. I am still going to try my hardest to at least breastfeed in the mornings and at night. Being a mom and holding on to mommy guilt is difficult. I only want the best for all of my children. I know that in the end as long as Elin is being fed and gaining weight and is growing up happy, I am doing my job.